Sunday, July 4, 2010

Ummmmm.... Wait a minute... Jesus wasn't crucified?!

Rained out for this year's July 4th festivities ... and unstructured couch potato lounging about not being my strong suit... I headed to the computer (surprise surprise for those who know me I'm sure! LOL) Starting with my standby for news... the CNN website (gotta love Anderson Cooper!)

Soooo ... we have the JFK airport terminal reopening after a bomb scare... the Green Zone under mortar attack during Biden's visit... Sen. Dole's rehab inspiring his fellow Walter Reed patients... the stimulus program not helping the economy... standard blah blah depressing stuff ... Oh wait! Here's a piece of good news! Tori Spelling's hubby is out of ICU! THANK GOODNESS! Haven't slept in DAYS waiting for that tidbit!

But wait! There's more! The pièce de résistance! The headline that reads... Gospels don't say Jesus was crucified... uhmmmmm... you have GOT to be kidding me! An entire 12 years of Catholic school education wasted...? I wonder if I could get a refund! Not to mention the 2000+ years of Christianity that are now going down the tubes? I can almost see the good Sisters explaining THIS one in religion class at my all-girls private high school... "Girls... looks like there's been a slight case of confusion over the years... why don't you go to gym while we figure out a new lesson plan for religion class?"

It was about all my muddled brain could handle when Sr Mary patiently explained that there was "no Adam and Eve." They were merely representative figures to tell a story of how we came to be... during a simpler time to less educated people... And the world was not created in 7 days. Because a day to God could be a year... a thousand years... a million years... Cuz after all... he is GOD. And we weren't there. So no one knows for sure. Uhmmmm... ok? So the Bible LIED?!? OMG! You could almost see everyone's brains racing... The room was so silent you really could have heard a pin drop. So Santa was a lie... the tooth fairy was a lie... and now the Bible is lying TOO? What ELSE have they been keeping from us?

But no... not that simple... See... the Bible is not lying... but there are parts of it that express "BIblical truth" as opposed to factual or literal truth. And so much of it was passed on by word of mouth for so many years... that you could more or less think of it as a very elaborate game of "Telephone." And let's not even bring up the people who wanted to embellish the stories a bit to make Jesus sound even better than he already was. Soooo... did that mean the next time Patty and I blew curfew in Dunkin Donuts til 4 AM that I could come up with a few "Biblical truths" of my own? (sigh) Didn't think so.

OK... time to quit yabbering and click on the link to see what happened to Jesus since he wasn't crucified. Maybe the fireworks being rained out is a good thing? Or I never would have learned the truth even at this late date!

Turns out that this Swedish evangelical pastor says that in the original ancient Greek Gospel text... there is nothing about crucifixion... it only says that Jesus carried "some kind of torture or execution device" to a hill where "he was suspended" and died. Not that it wasn't a crucifix. Just that the Greek word used is 'stauroun,' which may or may not refer to a crucifixion. The word itself means suspended. So... according to this guy... to be technically correct... we would need to say that Jesus carried some kind of torture or execution device to the hill on Calvary. He was suspended from it. And he died. And then he admits that Jesus was most likely crucified. But the Bible doesn't say that. Somehow... 'Stations of the Torture Device' doesn't quite have the same ring to it as 'Stations of the Cross.' UGH. Semantics. The dude is trying to turn my world upside down based on semantics. (sigh) Guess I'll head back to the couch :S Happy 4th!

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